R.I.P

I woke up in the morning.

I saw few people crying out louder, four people in each corner carrying a body which is covered with thin layer of white sheet, then suddenly I could see my family crying in a corner, I went running towards them even though I was in pain from past few days. I asked my mom what happened but she gave me no reply, I asked every person over there to tell me want happened but no one replied to me. All I thought at that moment is to just hug and console her. I rushed towards my mom I hugged her but she couldn't feel me, I hugged her again and again and again but I failed in diverting her attention towards me. Then I saw myself on a wall with garland and I was flying higher where no one can reach me.

These words which i wrote to my mom on Mothers day ran across my mind at that moment 

When I was in your womb, I hit you harder and harder,

Even though you made me see this world,

You never saw me but you loved me more than anyone does,

I was just like a cocoon protected by you every second,

and your only hope was to see me flying higher and higher like a butterfly.
I promise one day I will be the butterfly of your dreams..... 

but surely the situation at present is not what I promised her on that day. I told I will fly higher and higher but few didn't make me do that. Now I am dead no one can hear my pain, feel my pain all they do is JUDGE.

FEW WEEKS EARLIER

I wore a nice pink t-shirt and torn jeans came down the stairs shouting

Mom I am going to hospital, I may be late in the evening as I have a case to deal with and do not worry I had two parattas, I wont eat canteen food, I will take care of my health and I will love you more mom.

My old Maruthi 800 is the best but from past few days it is not a condition to take me around but somehow I managed to start it and then I drove off. I picked up my to be fiancé Raj, he is a doctor too we work in the same hospital but ours is arranged marriage (note for typical thinkers in the society).  The radio starts playing “Lag jaa gale se hasse ye raat ho na ho” we both are happily humming to the song. 

The moment I entered, nurse told me “emergency ward no:108” 

I rushed to the ward and the mother is all set to deliver, after few minutes we all can hear the cry of joy and its a baby GIRL . Every one were happy except father, though it was none of my business but it bothered me so much. I went towards him and asked, “what happened are you not happy for your princess”.

He replied “ No one on this earth can be as happy as I am at this moment but am failing to understand how can I protect from all those morons outside waiting to tear her apart once she grows up into a beautiful lady.

Tears rolled down my eyes I have no words to tell him, all I could do is just leave. I met raj and I spoke about it with him all he could do is laugh and said let it go, I was confused by his behaviour. 

Later in the evening, before leaving, he said “ Sorry for the afternoon” and gave a hug, then again radio plays “Lag jaa gale se hasee ye raat ho na ho” we looked into each other and laughed out loudly.

Late in the night around 12:00 a.m, I left hospital, I was driving really slow as my car is having only one head light and suddenly I saw someone on road. I applied breaks immediately, as a doctor not even thinking for a second, came out of my car and attended the person. Suddenly out of nowhere I was dragged back into the car and someone pushed me. Before I could realise my surroundings I badly got hit to the door. 

Next day I could see my self on a stretcher covered with a pool of blood and a sheet of cloth. My hands are in my mother and she lets me go once I am taken to ICU, I am scared to leave that ray of hope, the only thing she said was “everything is going to be okay”. I got injected and fell asleep I never knew that will be my only peaceful sleep. 

After few hours I am on a bed where i used to treat my patients till today. I can see everyone in the room whispering but no one was ready to tell. I felt a huge pain in my stomach, I felt as if my vagina got teared apart. I could hear people outside the hospital and then I asked my parents to turn on the  tv. They argued but later they did. The news was about a doctor who got brutally raped by 4 men and left her to death but there were none to help her. I see a girl photo and that was me, my car was shown on the tv. People are shouting for justice and I can hear the slogans.

More than the pain, the fear of what society thinks about me was inside me. I am never so popularised in any media. Overnight I am every where. I was struggling for my life just to prove everyone I am brave enough to fight back. Then I saw raj crying in the corner, I realised the father words on which raj laughed on that day. Then I thought everyone are happy until they go through the same pain. After a day though I am not fit enough to go home, I wanted to go back to my home, I feel its the only place where I can recover quicker than any on this earth. 

I was discharged, mom cooked my favourite aloo methi paratta, I ate them all up happily like a kid. I can still see new channels making me as their headlines, breaking news. That night I slept on my mom’s lap and turned on the radio “Lag jaa gale se hasee ye raat ho na ho” I just smiled and hugged my mom. I slept happily but never realised that I am going rest forever.

PRESENT:

The media made their earning through my story, some told I am 22 and some told I am 25 but I feel I am too young to die. I saw people doing candle marches on the roads in the capital of the city and 2 mins silence on my death in every place. 

Police finally caught the culprits where one is a minor, 3 majors who works in a near by area. The minor was excused by the law as he is having knowledge on how to rape a women but had no knowledge to be punished as he is a MINOR. The other are sentenced to 8 year imprisonment  as no proofs are submitted in the court. 

The opposition lawyers judged about my dressing that night but never though I came out of my car to help that person on humanity bases. The channels continued making their earnings and people didn't stop their slogans for my justice and politicians made a sympathy note on the incident to be in good books and all my life is tweeted with the word R.I.P.

After few days my parents still fought for justice but all the people were busy back in their lives, media found some other story to tweet, new tweets were made and everyone are waiting for another incident to happen to do a candle march and post in the media which in their language is creating awareness.

I was at last covered with that thin white sheet, the only thing which protected my dignity by completely covering me from head to toe, thats how our society want me to be when I was alive on that night.

Then the radio plays “Lag jaa gale se hasee ye raat ho na ho”……. There were no more nights in my life and I never rested in peace.